Happiness is here

textsfromlastnight:

(702): Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

factsandchicks:

Banana fibers are often used to make socks.
source

factsandchicks:

Banana fibers are often used to make socks.

source

factsandchicks:

Schwarzenegger never blinks in Terminator 2.
source
submitted by Nicolai Christensen
download the Facts and Chicks Android app »

factsandchicks:

Schwarzenegger never blinks in Terminator 2.

source

submitted by Nicolai Christensen

download the Facts and Chicks Android app »

My future boyfriend will be a spoiled fuck.
  • All you can eat sandwiches.
  • All you can eat crepes.
  • All you can eat noodles.
  • All you can eat pussy.
  • Back massages.
  • Tons of sex.
  • Movie buddy.
  • Sports watching buddy.
  • Sex buddy.
  • Random notes.
  • Random gifts.
  • Random sex.
  • Trips to Disneyland.
  • Trips to aquariums.
  • Trips to drive-ins.
  • Trips to my vagina.

destr0ysociety:

who i’d like to meet:


the “she” in that’s what she said. lolol.

A haiku about Nice Guys

mediocreomens:

I am a nice guy

Why won’t these stupid bitches

Fuck me already